Mormons Like Mormon Prayer Words and Phrases

When Mormons pray, they follow a pretty simple pattern. The start out by addressing God, thank God for their blessings, ask God for additional blessings, close in the name of Jesus, and say “amen.” These are the nuts and bolts, yet there are some other things that Mormons also generally say that are not "necessary" but nonetheless common fixtures of those steeped in Mormon culture. For example, when Mormons get around to asking for blessings, expect them to ask that “no harm or accident will befall” them. To my knowledge, this is the only time Mormons ever talking about anything befalling.

What else? Well, when blessing food, Mormons ask that the food make them healthy. (This would be true even if Mormons were about ready to gorge on high fructose corn syrup.) In asking this, Mormons generally ask that the food will “nourish and strengthen [their] bodies.” "Nourish and strengthen" are inseparable: they are like Donny and Marie, Mitt and money, Brooke White and tears, and Mormon primary programs and sign language. Even still, it is somewhat a mystery why Mormons need to specify that the food will nourish and strengthen their bodies. I mean really, what else would the food “nourish and strengthen”?

Another oddity that accompanies, blessing the food—Mormons are also fond of asking God to bless “the hands that prepared this meal.” One way to look at this is that it is a way to thank the cook in the body of the prayer. But, why stop with the cook's hands? Sort of strange, but what happens nonetheless.

In church meetings, matter how good or painful they prove, Mormons are certain to ask to help them to "apply these things in [their] daily lives.” This may lead you to ask, what other sort of lives—other than their "daily lives"—do they have? Again, I am not sure.

One other thing about church meeting prayers is that Mormons will often ask for a blessing “for those who could not be with us this day.” No matter how painful a meeting is, you should not expect Mormons to actually bless those who actually attended. (After all, what doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.) But, what does “could not be with us this day” mean really? If someone “could” have come but didn’t because they wanted to, for example, watch TV, is he or she covered? Technically, it doesn’t seem so. Strictly speaking the phrase seems to apply to everyone in the entire world less those who made it to the meeting or “could” have done so but failed to do so. And why "this day"? What's wrong with just "today"?

I am afraid that this post raises more questions than it answers. I am just saying that when Mormons pray like Mormons, these things are just likely to befall.