Mormons Like the Primary Program

Sitting through Mormon church is not an easy task for a kid. "Don't touch your brother," and "Sit still," parents will say. Some parents let their kids draw, look at a quiet book, or eat Cheerios to get them to be quiet. Other parents don't do any of this but expect their kids will sit and listen. Regardless, Mormons like quiet, well behaved kids in church--even if that's rarely what they get.

One Sunday a year, however, kids are pulled from the obscurity of the pews and put on the stand. On this day--the Primary Program--puts the kids in charge of the preaching, the music, the whole enchilada. A member of the bishopric will introduce the little squirts and then all the members of the bishopric will shuffle off of the stand as the children make their way up. And then, it's show time.

All the things that annoy adults the rest of the year for some reason are cute when the primary children are up on the stand. Whispering, giggling, and pulling faces are all just an expected part of the exercise. In fact, without all of that, it would be somewhat of a disappointment.

But, if you ever get a chance to attend a primary program, what should you expect? Mainly, you will see kids singing and giving short talks (can be as short as "I am fankful fur my teef.") You should also expect a kid or two to be put in front of the microphone only to have a classic deer-in-the-head lights reaction. This will probably be followed by a primary teacher trying to engineer a graceful exit for the child and, depending, perhaps a few years of intense therapy. It should not come as a surprise to you if the primary children know how to sing at least one song using simple sign language. This is because Mormons love it when kids exhibit talents. So whether it be sign language, second languages, solos, instruments, or any of the other stuff Mormons like, expect the Primary Program to give a few kids a moment to shine.

The songs the kids will sing are a mix of Mormon hymns, classic primary songs, and a mix of new songs, almost all by Mormon-song writer Janice Kapp Perry. (Janice Kapp Perry has had her hand in many Mormon song projects, including putting to music the patriotic poems of Senator Orrin Hatch.) It is the singing, however, not the songs that make the performances memorable. The songs begin as the primary chorister raises his or (usually) her hands and the children stand in unison like a well-oiled machine. Some kids sing softly, some sing loud, and some sing really loud. Some kid will sing, and you will think, "Wow! That kid can really sing." When this happens, Mormons are really happy because Mormons like singing. Another kid will sing, and you will think, "Wow! That kid really stinks--I mean way bad. I mean seriously, what's up with that?" When that happens, Mormons are happy too. Why? Because, this is the beauty of the Primary Program. It does not matter, if you can sing, or not; if you are a gifted speaker, or not; if you can do sign language, know a second language or play an instrument. What does matter is that you are a kid, and for Mormons that alone is a wonderful thing. It is enough to pull you from the obscurity of the pews and put you on the stand... at least for one blessed Sunday a year.