I have mentioned before, the best part of my blog are the comments people leave. A close second for me are some of the random ways that people find my blog—something that up to this point I have kept to myself. Consider a few classic searches:
Search query: "sign language" mayonnaise
Commentary: This is an essential of Mormon emergency preparedness. A Mormon can never be too careful in assuring access to mayo. It is the keystone of the Mormon diet. This goes a long way in explaining the following query of another vistor to my blog: "does lasagna have mayonnaise." But, be warned there are Mormon cultural apostates lurking out there on the Internet. What else would explain the search “miracle whip mormons”?
Search query: decorating church gyms for a wedding
Commentary: The real trick here is getting what to do with the basketball net and stopping those accustomed to playing church ball on the court from talking smack to the bride's parents.
Some searches take the form of questions. Many of these questions provide insights into what people think about Mormons. Some of these I read as nothing less as a plea for help.
Search query: are all mormon men dentists?
Answer: Beware of absolutes. Of course, not all Mormon men are dentists—even if it seems like it. But, all dentists are Mormons.
Search query: can you fry mayonnaise?
Answer: Not in this life anyways—otherwise this would be a staple of Ward potlucks. There has to be something left for the next life. This does not mean that you should not attempt to do it though. Remember though, I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth eating it—even if your attempts are technically failures.
Search query: do lds like old navy
Answer: There is nothing funny about this. However, 41 visits to my blog came through this search string. So, let me just put desperate searchers out of their misery and tell you that yes Mormons like it. This is particularly the case when it is time to buy matching shirts and khakis for family photos.
Search query: do mormons eat ice cream
Answer: Not always. Sometimes Mormons fast or sleep.
Man versus Ferrell
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I love Discovery Network show Man versus Wild. I rarely get to watch it
though. However, am really glad that my wife turned on the DVR for this one.
12 comments:
The things people google on the internet. funny.
You crack me up!
Makes me wonder how I found your site. I can't remember, but I do enjoy it. Thanks for making me laugh.
You can fry mayo. Elvis used to love a fried peanut butter, banana, and mayo sandwich. He also had a Book of Mormon once. I read it in the Deseret News.
guilty of the old navy thing!
funny post, I can't remember how I find your site either--but I love it.
the Book of Mormon Peeps were terrific
I never realized that I should have an obsession with mayonnaise.
Maybe mayonnaise flavored fried ice cream is in order?
You really get right to the core. Have you thought about teaming up with Robert Kirby from the Salt Lake Tribune? The two of you could keep an entire MISSION in hysterics.
So funny - I have no idea how I found this site, through another blog I'm sure. I wonder what other delights I could find if I google mayonnaise frying old navy wearing mormon dentists .....
I love the one about decorating the church gym for a wedding. Too good. I am pretty sure I found your site through a Mormon blog vine.
Thanks for sharing- those are some good ones. You might consider making that a regular feature.
Okay, the Old Navy one cracks me up because, and I kid you not, a couple years ago I went to a Stake Relief Society activity, and one of the speakers actually talked about how inappropriate Old Navy is. It's too industrial looking, which doesn't invite the spirit, and the denim it sells, oh the denim! Some of it is frayed!!!! (Lucky for us she seemed oblivious to all the ultra low-rise stuff). And there I was, three pews from the front in my Old Navy denim skirt. And? I think it's worth noting, that I don't live in Utah or Idaho.
After reading this one. I took a look at my food storage and we are really heavy on condiments, especially Mayo !
I fell into your blog completely by accident by clicking the wrong link on a friend's blog...I've never regretted it !
found this blog from a random commenter on seriously so blessed......love your blog...i am from utah currently living in so cal with no desire to live in "zion". but found myself lauging out loud to know that the culture is alive & well in the utard and elsewhere! I'm afraid my kids won't appreciate veggies encased in jello, topped with mayo....since they eat things like taquitos with guacamole, and grilled asparagus. have I gone apostate not teaching them about the merits of ice cream & green bean casserole? I'm left to ponder.
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