Articles of Faith for Mo Culture (12-13)

Here are the final articles of faith for Mormon culture. You can find the other articles of faith by clicking here (1-4), here (5-6), here (7-9), and here (10-11).

12. We believe in being subject to scoutmasters, pampered chef hostesses, and the writers of the U.S. News and World Report Rankings for professional schools, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining Glenn Beck.

13. We believe in being above average, good at crafts, optimistic, and being fifteen minutes late everywhere we go. Indeed, we may say that we follow BYU football. We believe rumors about famous people joining the church, we hope to meet the three Nephites, we have endured many pyramid schemes, and hope to be able to endure all pyramid schemes. If there is anything cheap, free, sold in bulk, or given away when somebody is moving, we seek after these things.

Articles of Faith for Mo Culture (10-11)

Here are two more articles of faith for Mormon culture. You can find the other articles of faith by clicking here (1-4), here (5-6), and here (7-9).

10. We believe in the literal mixing of ketchup and mayo and in the generous application of ranch dressing; that CBAs (church-based acronyms) will be used to describe YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO, and CTR; that Mitt Romney will get Mormons to vote for him any time he runs; and, that the Mormons will enjoy reading Twilight and The Work and the Glory.

11. We claim the privilege of trying to identify common acquaintances with any visitor at church, and allow all other people at church the same privilege, and let them name drop the names of FaMos and general authorities how, where, or what they may.

Articles of Faith for Mo Culture (7-9)

For the past couple of posts, I have been laying out proposed articles of faith for Mormon culture. You can find the other articles of faith by clicking here (1-4) and here (5-6). Anyways, here is my best stab at Articles 7-9:

7. We believe in the gift of the re-gift, church books, crafts, family photos, baked goods, emergency supply kits, and so forth.

8. We believe in sparkling grape juice so long as it is nonalcoholic; we also believe in bringing root beer and sprite to ward parties.

9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.

Articles of Faith for Mo Culture (5-6)

A few days ago, I posted the first four Articles of Faith for Mo Culture. I have slightly revised them based on the comments I received. Here are the next two:

5. We believe that a Mormon should have a distinguished or a cute name, that it is appropriate to name a child after a church leader or a historical figure including an ancestor, that alternative spellings and French prefixes only add to a name, and that when referring to the names of General Authorities, middle initials should be a part thereof.

6. We believe in the same wall decor that exists in many Mormon homes, namely, framed family proclamations, vinyl lettering, inspirational word signs, family photos, pictures of temples and Jesus, and so forth.

* My last two posts on Twitter deal with the Sixth Article of Faith of Mo Culture. Check them out by clicking here.